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My presence is non-existent, my heart is beat less, my breath is stone and my body is soil. For two years I have become one with the earth and according to you, so did my soul. Your lack of perception has led you to believe that the moment my body was laid to rest, everything about me seeped beneath the ground.

You and I were married. When I vowed that I’d never leave you, my words were entwined with my spirit. I never left your side. I continuously glide over you, protecting you from the world. I foresee the path in front of you and erase the danger. And though you have no belief in my existence, I will never quit on you.

Every day and every moment with in it, I miss you and the life we lived so well. We travelled as if we had no limitations, from the exotic experience of back packing through Uganda, Africa to a quiet, romantic week on the bank of Costa Rica. We’ve seen each other at our most fragile moments and if we happened to shatter, we always had the patience to rebuild everything we lacked. My heart no longer pumps blood through my body, but when I look at you I am damn sure that it still beats.

Your beauty is miraculous and unique. No other woman has attracted my eyes since the first day we met and I fell into yours. I always doubted myself for thinking that I could ever have the precious endowment of sharing a lifetime with you. But through a series of misfortunes and blessings, you became my forever.

Right now, I am soaring through the air with eyes locked on only you. Running faster than ever before, I feel your heart beat and I feel the blood being flushed through every vein each stride you take. You stop. Your knees are bent slightly, hands locked on your hips and your gasping for breath. In between your breathless and winded strains, you call out to me.

“I love you”

In an instant I am swept from the air to your presence. I am now standing right in front of you. Your smile is so familiar that it warms me and gives me some essence of humanity. Your hand suddenly rises as if to interlock with mine. I feel nothing but confusion as your hand flows through my stomach making insanity crucial to my being. I turn around, back faced to you, only to find your fingers already intertwined with another.

“I love you too Shelly and I always will”

His words sounded familiar. They sounded like death. Piercing every inch of me, creating unimaginable pain; without a body it seems impossible, but pain clearly has no restrictions as it continues to prosper my spirit. His words are echoing in my ears and cracking my heart with the ricochets. I now realize that I was your history and I no longer have a position in your life. Was our love buried with my body? Was I delusional to believe that our fire can still burn?

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